The Spirit of Milly
by Sempai Sunny
Summary: A story of songfics! Spoilers imminent. M/W R&R Rating for CH4
1. Enter From the East

Disclaimer: I shall never own Trigun. I'm starting to be able to accept it.. I also do not own any Jewel song that I have used in the"chapters" of this story (P.S. all songs from the "Spirit" album--ergo the title). Poor Milly. I abuse her so much.

I plan to make this a sort of mini-series, that follows my favorite insurance girl (and _why_ do I have Senpai in my name then? Well, my friend calls me senpai, so I guess that's why) and is just perfectly sweet, just like the Big Girl. Spoilers imminent. *=song lyrics. NEW: I am now putting lyrics in italics, too. Yay! Songs are the titles of the chapters.

****

The Spirit of Milly--Chapter One: Enter From the East

I was so glad Mr. Vash the Stampede paid our bus faire, even if Senpai and I had to pay him back when we get to May City. That was okay with me. 

Mr. Vash looked out his window. "What's that?" He pointed at a glint of metal.

The driver detoured the bus to go after it at Mr. Vash's insistance. The driver, Mr. Vash, Senpai, myself, and a few others went out searching for the thing Mr. Vash saw.

_*I went out a-wandering_

Beneath an unknown sky

The heavens all shook violently

He caught my eye*

"That is one well-prepared dead guy," the driver said solemnly. We all nodded. It was too bad that this poor man had to die this way, out in the middle of the desert. He was leaning against a giant cross-shaped object.

"Well, praise the Lord!" the man's suddenly sprung open. They were an amazing light blue, which looked striking against his black hair. I felt myself blush a bit.

We led him back to the bus and we drove a while longer.

_*Strange fruit fell_

It struck me to the core

My heart became a single flame

It wanted nothing more

Stranger, enter from the east

Stranger, step inside this place

And own me, own me*

The man guzzled down Mr. Vash's water, much to the Humanoid Typhoon's dismay. Senpai obviously found humor in that. As he drank, he talked to Meryl and me, and introduced himself as Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Nicholas, a nice name.

"I'm a man of the cloth," he stated boldly.

"You?" Meryl was extremely surprised. "Really?"

I was confused. "What do you make pretty dresses?"

I thought Mr. Wolfwood was going to hurt me. He semi-politely explained to me that he was a priest. I renamed him in my mind. Bokushi-san.

"I'll bet you were the one who found me," I heard him say. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or Senpai.

It was probably Meryl, because she answered him. "Actually, the one saw you when you were just a teeny speck on the horizon was that pathetic creature." She gestured to Mr. Vash, who was trying to catch the last drop of his water.

Mr. Vash introduced himself by some long ridiculous name that obviously wasn't his. "What are you talking about, Mr. Vash the Stampede?" I asked him.

"I hate it when you call me by my full name!" he cried at me.

_*The clock became a bullet hole_

Cruel and unkind

It hurt me with its second hand

Alone another night

Stranger, enter from the east

Stranger, step inside this place*

I was so glad that the little girl was alive. But, Mr. Vash and Bokushi-san were nowhere to be found, but, there was a huge hole in the ground. The little girl told me that her "rescuers" fell through quicksand. Meryl and I dashed to the hole, hoping that it led to the same place.

There was a giant submerged space ship, it seemed, at the bottom of the hole. I could hear the echoes of gunshots inside, and wondered if it was Mr. Vash's gun. Senpai ran towards where it sounded like the shots were coming from, but there was no real opening.

The gunshots stopped, which caused me to panic slightly. "Stand back," I told Meryl, aiming my stun gun.

A few direct hits at the shell of the ship made a hole large enough to fit the bus through. 

"A little late I'd say!" Bokushi-san cried. We lowered a rope to pull them out, and Senpai started lecturing Mr. Vash again. It was quite funny.

_*Blue, is that you?_

Well, don't bother knocking on my door this time

Blue, go be true to someone else

There's no room inside this heart of mine*

Mr. Wolfwood was a truly wretched person. He cursed, smoked, probably didn't follow the same peaceful way of life as Mr. Vash, and I had a crush on him. I shook my head, watching them laugh.

"The birds of a feather have flocked together," Meryl moaned and got up.

Mr. Wolfwood, noticing the empty seat beside me got up and took it. He leaned against me. "Hey, you're really comfy."

_*My heart has four empty rooms_

Three wait for lightning and one waits for you

I must have you all to myself

Feel the full weight of your skin

I hollow out my insides

To place you in

Stranger, enter from the east

Stranger, step inside this place

And own me, own me*

The men threw the giant cross at Mr. Wolfwood. "That thing's heavy!"

"That my friend, is because it's so full of mercy." He called, nodded at us, and walked off.

"There went Wolfwood," I heard Mr. Vash sigh. I hoped to see him again, sometime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, not much there, but this is chronicling Milly. Chill, okay? Just CHILL!

This is why I'm taking my time with Chapter 12 from Gunsmoke High. Be patient, my friends. 


	2. The Absence of Fear

The disclaimer in the first chapter goes for the whole story. Ahh...more Milly/Wolfwood. The cure for what ails you!

I had wanted to make this chapter the last one, the way the song is, but, ::sighs:: I can't do that. I don't know any episodes between 10 and 23 well enough. ::cries:: Besides, one of my absolute fav M/W ideas comes to play, _again_ in the [long-awaited--NOT] chapter 2!

****

Chapter Two--Absence of Fear

Poor Bokushi-san hadn't eaten much lately. He'd been looking really thin. Senpai and I made him sandwiches.

"Mr. Priest?" I asked to the closed door. Cracking it open, I found him there. I showed him the sandwiches, though I didn't get the delight of seeing his beautiful light blue eyes. "And you take your coffee black, right?" I hurried away to make him some.

_*Inside my skin_

There is this space

It twists and turns

It bleeds and aches*

"Why haven't you said anything?" he suddenly snapped.

I asked him what about.

"That kid I killed the other day."

I muttered some nonsense about what Vash saying being true, and my poor Bokushi-san being right as well.

"What would you have done?"

"I don't know," I answered, tears pricking at my eyes.

"_That's not good enough_!" he screamed. Suddenly, his demeanor changed and he was back to the depressed Nicholas D. Wolfwood that he'd been lately.

_*Inside my heart_

There's an empty room

It's waiting for lightning

It's waiting for you*

"Would please eat the sandwiches?" I begged him after he stopped crying. It was making me scared, though happy at the same time, that he trusted me like that. I had secretly loved him for a very long time, though I often had the feeling that he didn't feel the same way.

"Would you," he paused, searching for the words. "Eat them with me?"

I sat down next to him, holding the plate between us. He took it away from me, placed it on the table, and kissed me.

It was a kiss that set itself apart from all others, not that I would have known, since it was my first. I loved him dearly, but I didn't want to go there. Yes, I'd known him for ages, but, well, it might as well had been as though we'd just met, the way he'd obviously hidden what he'd felt, and how I knew I had.

But I was perfectly happy with just that kiss.

_*And I am wanting_

And I am needing you here

Inside the absence of fear*

All my fears and pent-up worries melted away in that kiss. It was as though he'd vacuumed them up and thrown them away, never to be seen again. I thought of nothing but Nicholas and how we might actually have a future together now. Yes, it might have bothered Senpai and Mr. Vash that we were together, especially Mr. Vash, since he'd been trying not to fall in love, because he'd outlive whoever he fell for, though I could tell he was sweet on Meryl. And she on him, probably, though I knew she'd never admit it.

He pulled away. "Milly," he whispered hoarsely.

"Hai, Bokushi-san?"

"Don't call me that," his eyes danced playfully, reflecting the colors of the five moons. I could see a reflection of the whole Mr. Vash had put in the fifth one in his eyes.

"Nicholas?"

"Much better," he kissed me again softly. "Milly, I love you."

Oh, how a girl dreams of hearing that. Myself, I'd wondered if a man would ever say it to me. I was so big and clumsy, and, for a long time, naive to boot. I thought no man would ever look at me and whisper those three small words the way Nicholas had just done.

"I love you, too, Nicholas." I placed a kiss of my own on those perfect lips. He must have snuck in a mint or something when I wasn't paying attention, because his breath didn't have the usual rancid smell of his cigarettes.Everyone has their faults, I guess, though I feared Nicholas's would kill him before his time.

_*Muscle and sinew_

Velvet and stone

This vessel is haunted

It creeks and moans*

It was late, too late to go home. Senpai was probably having conniptions, because I wasn't back to our room yet.

"Milly," he asked, on the other side of the room, gazing out the window. "Would you like just to stay here? It's too late to walk back."

"Alright," I murmured, sleep tugging heavily at my eyes. I lay down on his bed and the dreams came with speed.

_*My bones call to you_

In their separate skin

I make myself translucent

To let you in*

Gunshots pounded my ears. "Nicholas? Nicholas!" I screamed, realizing he wasn't in the room. A second later he ran back in, Cross Punisher slung across his back.

"Milly, do not leave the room until I get back. Hear me? Wait for me to come back! Do not leave under any circumstances." His eyes were frozen with seriousness. I nodded, understanding his warning.

He spun around, the Cross Punisher whacking him soundly on the back, and slammed the door, hurrying out into the street. A glance out my window showed me the direction he was heading.

I curled up onto the bed, hands clasped over my ears, trying to block out any thoughts, except ones of Nicholas.

_*I am wanting_

And I am needing you here

Inside the absence of fear

There is this hunger

This restlessness inside of me

It knows that you're no stranger

You're my gravity*

"Milly?" I heard Senpai open the door, sounding scared. "Why are you here?"

"He told me to wait for him!" I snapped, painfully aware of my own distress. What was taking him so long? I should have gone with him, argued until he agreed to let me go. I could have helped him.

Senpai sat down on the bed next to me. "Well, then I guess we wait."

I prayed to God that my Nicholas would be safe and come home to me soon.

_*My hands will adore you_

Through all darkness aim

They will lay you out

In moonlight

And reinvent your name*

Vash led us down the dusty street, following a path of sun-drying blood. I knew what I would find before we reached the doors of the church. Disobeying the orders of the Humanoid Typhoon, even though I knew he could shoot me down any instant for misbehaving, I ran ahead of him, faster than I ever knew I could, until I pushed the heavy doors of the chapel open.

A blood-curdling scream escaped my lips when I saw him, slumped against his Cross Punisher, life snatched away much too soon.

_*For I am wanting_

And I am needing you here

Inside the absence of fear*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title of this chapter tad ironic, ne? Well, her fear did vanish, and she wanted him to come back and take it away, again. But, ::weeps:: we know that ain't happening any time soon. Until they find away to bring people back from the dead, that is.

Milly: -_-; You're warped. He's not coming back

Sunny: HEY! I'M THE ONE WRITING THE STORY! I DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS! YOU GO AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT SONG!

::chucks 6-pack of pudding @ Milly::


	3. Do You?

OK, it's officially after the series. Knives-baka is awake, the well AND pipelines are all finished, Meryl and Vash, well, best not to go there, if I aim to keep a rating of R. Let's just say that they've realized their feelings and they're happy.

(In case you hadn't noticed, I'm somewhat anti-Knives right now because ::sniff:: he made Legato force Vash to kill him ::cries:: MY BLUE HAIRED AND GOLDEN EYED WONDER!)

Legato: Chill, I'm right here.

Sunny: ::melts into floor reminiscent of Campfire Tales, possibly the worst thing she's ever written::

If you want my horrid, nightmare inducing disclaimer, it's in the first chapter since I wrote them all at about the same time.

****

Chapter Three--Do You?

I hate parties. Especially ones where people start dancing. I never got to dance with Nicholas, the man I loved and had so little time with.

I love Senpai and Mr. Vash, truly I do, but I'm so sick of seeing them together.

"Milly, Milly, Milly, brooding again?" A painfully evil voice breaths on my neck.

"Go away, baka," I say, my voice hard and cold, unlike myself.

"Knives, leave her alone." Vash warns from across the room. "Milly, are you sure you don't want to go to the party? You did do a major chunk of the work."

"I'm positive, Mr. Vash." I watch Senpai, Vash, and Knives, who woke up about a week ago, leave. I feel the big fat tears, the ones that you only cry when you're alone, start to slide down my cheeks.

I'm so jealous of Senpai. She has the man she loves, Vash the Stampede, Humanoid Typhoon and Chaser of the Mayfly Called Love, at her beck and call. I hear their screams nightly. I guess I'll never know what it's like.

Knives, the monster that he is, has been making moves on me, but I'm still angry at him for ordering Nicholas's death. I am not the type to hold grudges, in fact I had felt sorry for Vash's twin brother. But, when he heard me crying one night, murmuring Nicholas's name, he said just about the cruelest thing I could imagine, and, well, I haven't quite forgiven him yet.

"You should be glad I ordered his death. He was going to ruin both your and your friend's life eventually." I could still hear Knives's vicious laugh as he said those words. They were cruel, spiteful, and they had caused a previously unknown emotion, hate, to rise in my body.

I feel horrible. I got into a fight with Senpai this afternoon, when I walked into the bar. I was feeling lonely, and watching her bat her eyes at Vash as he walked in, that pushed me over a bit.

_*Hey you say you like the way_

The cowboys tip their hats and say

'How's goin' ma'am?'

But you're never clear

If their glares are sincere

Or really only just second hand*

"If it weren't for him, Nicholas might still be alive!" I had snapped.

"Milly?" Meryl looked helpless. "What are you talking about?"

"You know darn well what I'm talking about!" This rage had been pent-up in me for ages, since the horrid thought had first reached me. "If Vash hadn't gone around trying to teach everyone not to kill, no matter _how_ right he is, Nicholas might still be here! He wouldn't have been the one who died that day!"

Meryl didn't say a word. Her violet eyes shot a look at Vash, who was staring at us, confused, and then went back to the shiny metal of the bar,

"Meryl, I know you love him, but sometimes, he really is just an idiot, like you said!" With that, I had spun on my heel and stormed out of the bar.

_*For you it's all roses_

It's a lavender haze

The man is a marvel

It's a shame about his brains

That's okay you say

'He's got straight teeth

And it's good sex'

You look to the sky

You look to the man

You claim innocense

And not to understand

Or do you, do you?*

My face flushes as I remember that. I can not believe that I was able to face her when she got home.

I remember my only night with Nicholas, the last he was alive. We hadn't done more than kiss, but it was the best night of my life. He told me he loved me.

_*There's a big man wearing a white suit_

And patent leather shoes

He wants to take his monkeys

To see the kids at the zoo

Because the gypsy on the corner

Said 'Hey mister, you can't lose!'*

My first day working on the well was the first day that passed without me thinking about him. I was glad, because I couldn't think about my problems, and it gave me something to do other than brood and play with my hair.

I was so angry at Vash when he didn't bring Nicholas's Cross Punisher back to me, but I understand his reasons. Now, the only forms of defense we have are the gun in Vash's left arm, and Meryl's Derringers. Considering what Knives has done in the past, from what Senpai told me, I don't really consider these sufficient, but I say nothing.

_*And it's your first day at the track_

You feel that heat on your back

We all want to find a way

To beat the system

Find some rhythm in the madness

Get down on your knees and prey

Say 'I'll do whatever you want God

Just let me have my way'

Well will you, will you?*

I get up and away from the window. I'm wearing my usual clothes, but decide to change into blue jeans and a more comfortable shirt. After giving my attire my own personal seal of approval, I walk out of the house and down the street to the bar, where the party is. I don't want to be alone right now.

_*Come on all you merry men_

Rally your cry

Dance with the devil

For tomorrow we'll surely

Hey, hey blow the man down*

Strangely, bars are one of the places where I think of Nicholas the most. I remember the night before the Quick Draw tournament, all those months, years, ago, when the three of us got basically plastered.

I see Meryl looking at me, from where she's standing with Vash, who has one arm holding her hips. I nod and walk over to them

"Milly, please, don't drink _too_ much."

"I promise not to, Senpai."

Poor Meryl. I haven't drunk to the point of stripping in a very long time, but she gets nervous every time, anyway. I just have water.

I stare into the water, seeing Nicholas's reflection before me, and before long, all the memories, the ones I had buried deep inside, to hide the pain, come rushing back to me.

_*You with all your cigarettes_

And cool stares

Filled with blank glares

And loaded regrets

Just like the girls today

With nothing to say

No more pigtails and pony rides

They're sophisticated

They sip on lattés

And have their eyes

On a bigger prize*

My big big sister said once that if a memory of someone you lost isn't painful, then they didn't matter much to you. Well, Nicholas obviously ment something to me, because I feel like I've been shot point blank by the Angel Arm when I think of that night.

_*We shake our fists_

And say 'Well good golly we're mad

That God kills children with our very own hands'

We claim innocense

And not to understand

Or do we, do we?*

The tears start to slip down my face again, and I feel Vash and Meryl embrace me. How could I ever say such hurtful things about them? They truly love me, maybe the only people outside my family who do anymore. The pain just is overbearing.

_*Come on all you merry men_

Rally your cry

Dance with the devil

For tomorrow we'll surely

Hey, hey, blow the man down

Blow the man down*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Say it with me, "AWWWWWWWWWW!"

OK. Chapter 4 (probably final chapter), will be up TOMORROW! I PROMISE! AND THEN I PROMISE TO GET BACK TO GUNSMOKE HIGH!

--Sunny


	4. Barcelona

OK, DISCLAIMER BE ON CHAPTER ONE! I DON'T WANNA GET HURT! ::cries::

::sigh:: This is what happens when I come up with things during the school day. I scribble them on my hand and then I go biking w/ my friends and it all rub off. -_-;

BUT, CHAPTER 4 THE FOURTH AND FINAL CHAPTER.

Eh, I had originally intended on making this the last chapter of Milly's Mission but, I had made no chapters in-between, so I gave up. So, when I started this, I cut the whole mission part, Knives being all nice, the ghost, and the guns, which means they're still in the desert...or are they? Ô.Ô What is this girl taking? Anyways, I added the lyrics, changed some of it, and played with reality...

****

Chapter 4--Barcelona

_*Barcelona, where the winds all blew_

The churches don't have windows

But the graveyards do*

Had it really been a year since Nicholas died? So much had happened.

Meryl must have realized that a year ago today was when Nicholas was gunned down in the street by Chapel, under orders of Knives. When we had found him in the church. 

"That was the scariest thing I ever heard, that scream." I heard her murmur to Vash. He nodded.

"It was painful for her," he whispered back. They probably didn't know I could hear them. I didn't care. My Nicholas was gone, and nothing I could do could bring him back.

Collecting all the strength I could muster, I started to chirp happily. "Isn't it a lovely day? I think I might go and look at the beautiful gardens outside the church." I kept rambling on, as puzzled looks crossed the faces of Senpai, Vash, and Knives.

"Er, fine," Vash finally said. "Why don't we have, uh, a picnic?" His aqua eyes darted to Meryl, who nodded.

"Garbage," Knives muttered. "And their pathetic traditions."

"_You_ aren't invited," Meryl held a Derringer up to his temple so quickly that if you blinked, you would have missed the action.

"_Meryl,_" Vash warned. They'd had enough fights about Knives, especially lately. I feared he would cause a greater rift between them than there was already. After they had become so happy.

I stepped outside into the harsh glare of the twin suns.

_*Me and my shadow_

Are wrestling again

Look out stranger

There's a dark cloud moving in*

"Nicholas," I whispered to the sky. "Every night I miss you more. My big big sister said that there would be one person meant for everyone in the world. I think you were the one for me, Nicholas."

I breathed in, then let it all out. A tear trickled down my cheek, but I brushed it away. "This is no time for tears, right, Nicholas?"

The blood-curdling scream from when I found him in the church shot through my mind. If the death of one's heart had a sound, that might have been it. Yes, I was still living here, still breathing, my heart still pumping, but it held no feeling, just an empty space from where it once stood.

"Yes, Nicholas, I have a hole in my heart. And it's labeled Nicholas D. Wolfwood."

Suddenly, a shot from a gun, which sounded like one of Meryl's Derringers, rang out from in the kitchen.

"God, she didn't actually shoot him?" I muttered, running back into the house. Meryl was no where to be seen, as was Vash.

Instead, Knives was lying on the floor, blood pooling around him.

And the scream returned. Only it wasn't my voice that made it. It was Vash's.

"_MERYL!_" He shouted with such resonance that I jumped, and she came running in from the kitchen. "_WHY?_"

I had never seen such a look on Vash's face. It was white as a ghost, and his eyes seemed to be sunken in, but colored with rage.

"Meryl, why? Why after all this time?" he asked her. "Please, I know I shouldn't have pushed my way of life on you, but you, of all people, I would have hoped that you...you..." Vash collapsed to the floor, the tears that were welling in his eyes overflowing.

Meryl leaned against the kitchen door, her eyes sorrowful. "It wasn't me. I had left just after you." Her voice was no louder than a kitten's mew. She paused, watching the twins on the floor. "I was making food for the picnic. I didn't pull the trigger, Vash. I swear on it."

Vash didn't respond, just picked up his brother and walked out the door. "Clean it up," he said, his voice hard.

"Senpai?" I whispered, the pool of blood that was Knives's laying untouched five minutes later. Neither of us had left the spots where we stood when Vash started screaming.

"I didn't do it." She broke down and cried, slumping to the floor. "Please, Milly, believe me. I didn't."

I walked over her, gingerly avoiding the blood. "But then how did Knives get the gun? You keep them locked up."

"The one that I carry just in case," she sobbed. "You saw, I had it cocked and aimed at Knives, but I wasn't going to shoot it."

"Hai," I murmured.

"But, I absently left it in the room after I left, forgetting he was there."

I thought about this for a second. "Mr. Knives took his own life," I murmured to the room.

_*But if you could hear_

The voice in my heart

It would tell you

I'm afraid I'm alone*

"Senpai," I whispered, picking her up and putting her back on her own two feet. "You never lie to Vash. Please, just tell him that. He'll believe you."

"But he knows I dislike Knives. Hate him, even. But, Milly, _I didn't pull the trigger_. I did not kill Knives. The thought never really crossed my mind. I thought my own guns wouldn't be sufficient. I mean, Vash had _his_ gun and it only caused his brother to be unconscious for a few weeks."

"Senpai, being shot point-blank in the temple by anything is usually lethal." I was surprised at how even my voice was. A year after Nicholas's death was possibly the death of anything between Meryl and Vash, as well as the literal death of Nicholas's former boss and the man who had ordered his death.

_*Won't somebody please_

Hold me, release me, show me

The meaning of mercy

Let me loose

Fly, let me fly, let me fly*

I got up and got the mop from the kitchen. Sure enough, there was a basket and sandwiches sitting on the counter, forgotten. The sight of the sandwiches made my own tears collect in my eyes. Had it really been a year since the night I had brought the sandwiches to Nicholas? I took the mop back into the living room, with a bucket of water.

Meryl watched me silently as I cleaned up the blood, not even moving. She didn't even bother to wipe the tears streaming down her face.

The door closed quietly just as I was taking the bucket and mop back to the kitchen, the only remains of the mess being a slight deep reddish-brown stain on the floor.

I looked over at the door. Vash, his eyes on the ground, silently walked past and up the stairs to the room that was his and Meryl's.

"_Tell_ him," I urged her. Meryl shook her head and took the mop and bucket from me. She walked back into the kitchen, still silent. I heard her stomping around the kitchen, the way she usually did when she was angry. I heard the crash of a frying pan as it hit the stove, and I knew she was going to probably make French toast, like she always did. It was a comfort food for her.

I made my own way up the stairs and walked into Vash and Meryl's room. Vash was busy taking all his clothes out of the dresser.

"Mr. Vash?" I said quietly.

"I'm going to stay in Knives's room." he looked at me, his eyes full of pain. They had looked like that an awful lot in the time I'd known him; whenever he thought of Rem, when Zazie died, whenever he failed to save someone's life, at Nicholas's death, after he'd killed Legato. Even that day on the mountain after he'd been pulled around town by a truck. It was heart-wrenching to look at.

"Mr. Vash," I raised my voice to a more audible volume. "Senpai _never_ lies. She can't lie to you, she loves you too much." I had no clue where this was coming from. I was making it up on the spot, though I knew it was all true.

"She would not have killed Knives, because she knew how it would affect you. We both have reason to believe that Knives was the one who shot off the gun."

"I know," he whispered, putting down his things. I crossed the room to him.

_*Super paranoid_

I'm blending, I'm blurring

I'm bleeding into the scenery*

"There's a girl in pain who needs you right now," I whispered, hugging him. I knew he'd said something like that to Meryl when he had left for LR, just after Nicholas died. I was the one in pain then. Meryl was now. She needed him to comfort her, to tell her it was okay, that he still loved her, and that he believed her.

Vash nodded and walked silently out of the room.

"Nicholas," I whispered. "Am I right? I know it's Mr. Vash's brother, but, well, it _was_ Senpai's gun, and Mr. Vash _did_ overreact. He knew Meryl would have never done it."

It was almost as if the wind carried his voice to me, because I could have sworn I heard him tell me that I had done the right thing.

_*Loving someone else_

Is so much easier

But I hold myself hostage

In the mirror*

The mirror over Senpai's dresser caught my eye. I walked over to it, looking at the girl who stared back out at me. Was this the same girl that had left the Bernardelli Insurance Society, that Milly Thompson, years ago to find Vash the Stampede and keep him under twenty-four hour surveillance?

No, it couldn't be her. That Milly hadn't found the man she loved with her whole heart, been loved back by him, followed a typhoon who wanted nothing more than love and peace, and now stood here, fretting about a man whose brother had just taken his own life.

_*God won't you please_

Hold me, release me, show me

The meaning of mercy

Let me loose

Let me fly, let me fly, let me fly*

Back downstairs, Meryl and Vash had both stopped crying and were talking quietly. I could tell that the tears were not long gone, though, because their eyes were still red and damp, and the streaks upon their faces still looked fresh.

"Let's go," I said, breaking the near-silence. Both of them looked up at me. "We planned a picnic, didn't we? I still think we should go. We could have it in the church garden."

"Milly," Meryl whispered. "Go alone."

"It's not a picnic if someone's alone," I muttered, but left anyway.

The twin suns seemed to have lessened in intensity, though it was nearly noon. I followed the path to the church in the town. I had gone there quite often since Meryl and I came here, because it made me think of Nicholas, even though it was hard on me.

_*I won't be held down_

I won't be held back

I will lead with my faith*

The garden was flourishing, what with the sprinkler system that was possible because of the underground vein that we had hit, the well crew and I. The town had to be the greenest one on the planet. Beautiful flowers sat there, like none would have believed.

I passed it by, walking into the church.

The rose window cast glorious colors on the aisle and altar. Life every time I walked in here, I half-expected to see Nicholas leaning against his cross.

'Nicholas isn't here, Milly. He's dead and buried in Tonim Town,' I told myself. 'And Vash left the cross in the desert. It was for everyone's own good.'

I placed myself in a pew at gazed at the colors, as though it was my own private show from heaven.

_*The red light has been following me_

But don't worry, mother

It's no longer my gravity*

I didn't return home until the setting suns cast long shadows and set the heavens on fire with the reds and golds of a sunset. Inky black claimed the horizon as I walked through the door.

Meryl was leaning on Vash, both of them watching the sunset. I sensed their pain, but sat down with them.

What had come between them didn't quite seem resolved, but I didn't think it ever would be.

_*Hold me, release me, show me_

The meaning of mercy*

A knock came to the door. Neither Vash nor Meryl made a move to answer it, so I got up. Cracking open the door, I smelled the smoke of a cigarette.

"Those things are horrible for you," I told the person at the door. "What do you want?"

The person took the cigarette out of their mouth and crushed it with their shoe. I noticed it was a brown shoe peeking out from a pair of black pants. Nicholas wore pants like that.

"Well, a man I used to work for told me I had to come here. That some people needed me, and they let me come." It was a man, and the voice sounded familiar.

The man's hand titled my chin upwards, towards his face, and I looked into the ice blue eyes of Nicholas D. Wolfwood, before my own eyes closed at the kiss he gave me.

_*Let me fly, let me fly, let me fly*_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NANI? NICKY? BACK FROM THE DEAD?

Milly: Believe it!

Sunny: Yup. I planned for him to come back as a reward for Milly's successful completion of her mission, but since I'm too lazy to write about her whole mission. But, j'adore my warped reality of people rising from the dead to live amongst those they love. Being truly alive, though. And, God, the nice man that he is, gave Nicholas a second chance.

Well, that's my short kawaii, angsty Milly songfic chapter-story. I hope you all liked it because I enjoyed writing it. R&R!


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